February 19th, 3 AM
I awake. I feel my belly cramping up. Pondering in the dark I ask myself if this could be the start of labour?
After several false alarms I don't want to get my hopes up. I fall back to sleep, only to awake 20 minutes later by the same sensation.
A bit excited, I decide to go down stairs to watch some tv. The same cramps come and go every 20 minutes.
After being sure that this is it I tell myself that these contractions could take hours so I head back to bed.
February 19th, 7 AMMy husband gets ready for work. He asks me how I'm feeling. And with a big smile on my face I tell him that something is happening! He asks me if he should stay home. But I tell him the contractions aren't painful yet and still 20 minutes apart so he's best of to work.
February 19th, 6 PMHubby comes home from work and I tell him my contractions are now 10 minutes apart and getting more painful. We decide to wait. We have dinner and watch a really lame comedy on Netflix.
When the evening comes my contractions are mostly in my back and getting worse by the minute. I try to use a steady breathing to help me go through them. When I feel sh*t is getting real my husband calls the midwife. She says she'll be there in half an hour.
February 19th, 10 PMOur midwife arrives when I'm breathing away an awful back contraction. She checks my dilation and I'm already 4 centimeters yay! Our midwife is surprised and happy with this news as well. She tells us to carry on and that she'll come back in two hours. I hit the shower to try to relieve my back.
February 19th, 11.30 PMHoly crap this hurts! I consider myself being someone who handles pain well. But I don't know what to do with these horrible back pains. I can't breath them away and the smile that was on my face this morning is nowhere to be found. After checking, our midwife tells me I'm 7 centimeters dilated and that my contractions are speeding up. She calls in for an assistant and I fall back in to my own world.
The midwife checks me again and I'm 9 centimeters! I feel the baby's head pushing down on my vajayjay but I'm not allowed to push yet. Meanwhile my back is killing me and I can't do anything else than moan.
After being fully dilated I'm finally allowed to push. I try to push but nothing happens. Am I doing this right? I feel tired and the pain in my back is no fun at all. But pushing with the contractions helps. I try a few times but there's no progression.
February 20th, 0.30 AM
My midwife tells me to sit on the labour stool so gravity can help getting my baby down. My husband sits behind me for support. I push and push but nothing comes out.
Our midwife tells me we're gonna try one more time on the bed and if that doesn't work out we have to go to the hospital. My husband is on my side all the time and he feels helpless seeing me in so much pain. I have to put my chin on my chest, hold my legs, take a deep breath an push but still no hairs are to be seen.
I'm exhausted. Baby is not coming out but the contractions keep coming!
February 20th, 1 AMThe ambulance is here. I feel like I'm stoned. It's just me and the pain now and I'm not aware of what happens around me. I'm lying in the ambulance, half naked and cold. I'm trembling and I feel scared about what is going to happen.
After arriving in hospital I see my husband again. I'm lying on the hospital bed and a nurse tells me they're gonna help me. Baby's heartbeat is monitored and I keep pushing those pesky contractions away. More and more people stand around my bed. I believe there were like six. But I don't really care.
I'm told they're gonna use vacuum extraction to get my baby out. At the foot of the bed I see a nurse with a big needle telling me she's gonna anesthetize my vajayjay. My husband stands by me holding my hand, almost in tears. Afraid things are going down hill. The pump is placed on my baby's head and I'm told to give everything I have and push. I hold my breath, push like there's no tomorrow and let out a primal scream.
Still no luck. The obgyn tells me she's stopping the procedure and that I'm getting a C-section.
February 20th, 2 AMEverything's a blur. I try to breath away the back contractions. The nurses push my bed to the OR.
I get an IV and something to stop the contractions. But they don't stop! Hello people I'm still contracting, aren't they supposed to stop by now?! My husband appears in blue scrubs and sits be my side as I'm being prepped for surgery. I get an epidural.
Do you feel this? yes. Do you feel this? Yes! The drugs they gave me aren't working very well and I still feel pain. Husband gets angry because I'm still in pain. "Can we give her more?", I hear a nurse asking.
They have to consult the anesthetist first.
I ask my husband to talk to me to distract me from the things that are going on down below. I can see he's scared too. But he does his best to keep me distracted.
I feel tugging and pulling in my belly. And then at 3 AM in the morning I see our baby for the very first time. Our baby boy is held up above the blue cloth. I smile, he's finally here.
My husband gets pulled away to cut the umbilical cord. And I can hear our baby's first cry. He's healthy and doing fine. Baby boy is placed on my chest and all I do is smile. He's beautiful :-)