Motherhood



Being a mom has been my greatest challenge yet. But I'm happy to say that in the last two years I've found my balance. My husband and I found a new meaning in our relationship and the bonds with our parents have grown stronger. I never knew that a little baby could bring so much joy and hope.

But, finding a new balance between work, parenting and taking care of myself hasn't gone easy.
There are a few essential things I've learned from motherhood.




1. You're body will never be the same


Before I got pregnant I had a healthy weight and worked out on a regular basis. During pregnancy I've gained quite some pounds but was still in the 'healthy category'. But I had to stop exercising because of pelvic instability. After the birth of my son I nursed him for 3 months and switched to bottles after that. I had to get ready to get back to work and pumping was something I didn't feel comfortable doing. After getting back to work I tried getting into the same pace as before becoming a mom, but I took on too much on my plate. 
After finding out the hard way that I couldn't do all the things I did, I focused on finding balance.

At the moment that means that I'm not working out. I've lost a lot of muscle and therefor weight. I rather wish I didn't but that's just how it is now. I made a decision to make working out not a priority and that's ok for now.


2. The relationship with your parents will change


My mom always told me that she wouldn't be a grandmother that fusses over her grandkid all the time. She said she didn't want to babysit on a regular base and that she wouldn't come visit every week.
But all of that changed since she held my son, her first grandchild in her arms.
It was a bit of a shock to my mom as well I guess, that this little boy had her wrapped around his tiny fingers from the very beginning. My mom now takes care of my son every wednesday. He even has his own room at her house with a crib, changing table and lots and lots of toys. My husband and I know he's in good hands when we're of to work.
Same goed for my mother in law who has fallen in love with her first grandchild as well. She takes care of him every thursday and my husband and I are very grateful for that.

It saves us in daycare costs and our son is able to develop a strong relationship with his grandmothers. Having a network to fall back on is truly a blessing.



3. Staying home during weekends will sound awesome


In the past I was someone who needed to get out of the house at least once a day. I love'd going out to have lunch with friends or do a bit of shopping in the city. Going to a museum, having coffee with my BFF or doing a creative activity was something I did weekly.
But now....I'm glad to have a weekend ahead of me without obligations! The week goed by so darn fast. I spend mondays at home with my son and work tuesdays to friday. After work I just want to stay home, work on my blog and watch a show on Netflix. I don't see my friends as often as I did before. I really have to plan those meetings and make sure my husband is home to take care of Logan when I'm out.

My pace has slowed down. And for me that's a real good thing. I was always thinking ahead about all the things I wanted to do and couldn't relax and enjoy the moment. Nowadays I take my time and try to do things mindfully. I'm more relaxed and takes things as they go.


4. You will have to set out a new financial budget


Before we were parents my husband and I both worked fulltime. We decided we didn't want to bring our future child to daycare 5 days a week. Taking care of our child ourselves was very important to us. My mother in law had already let us know she wanted to babysit on a set day. And my husband and I decided to each stay home one day a week so our boy only had to go to daycare two days a week.

Although (in the Netherlands) you'll get a surtax according to your income to pay childcare costs it still cost us an arm and a leg. When my mum heard about our financial struggles she offered to watch Logan one day a week. Which we were really grate full for.

So the loss of income, childcare costs and diapers gave u a big setback financially. We were living in a rental home at the time and weren't earning a good income unfortunately. I looked at our finances and looked for ways we could save on money to relieve our stress. Our rental home was really expensive (E 1000,- a month without gas, light, water which is high in the Netherlands) so we wanted to move to a place of our own which could save us in housing costs.

I got in to being frugal and made a couple of lifestyle changes. I was always really responsible with money (thankfully my husband as well) so we made do and managed.

Fast forward a year and my husband and I were able to each find better jobs. More income and closer to home for me. And for my husband a more challenging job. 

We found our dream home in the suburbs where our son can grow up in an environment where he can play safely and connect with nature.

We still have to watch our finances closely but I'm glad we can manage each month.


5. Looking pretty will become a challenge


Now that I'm a mom I sometime shock myself when I take a bath and see my legs. Shaving every day? Ain't nobody got time for that! I do manage to NOT look like a gorilla though. But thankfully it's winter now and there is hardly anyone who'll see my legs and armpits besides me ;-)

As a working mom I had to find a new beauty routine. I set my alarm at 6 AM every weekday so I can take a quick shower before Logan wakes up. I brush my teeth and get dressed. My son wakes up around 6:15. I change his nappy, dress him and then we head downstairs. Time for some milk and coffee.
I make a sandwich for my son. When he eats, I blow dry my hair (which is a breeze because my hair's short). While Logan plays with his toys I put on my make-up.

I try to schedule in a pamper night every few weeks. In which I take a nice long bath, do a bit of scrubbing and moisturize. 
Every now and then I spoil myself with a new shirt or a pair of shoes. I hardly ever go out shopping anymore. I order online and have it shipped to our home to save time.


6. You will always feel tired


Sleeping in during the weekends? Forget it.
Thinking your child will always sleep through an entire night when he or she has does so for a while? Haha, think again.
I have never, ever in my life felt so tired for so long. 

I always hated to fall a sleep on the couch. Because you have to wake up eventually to go upstairs, brush your teeth, clean your face and put on pyjama's and get in to a (cold!) bed and try to fall a sleep again. But now I doze on the couch every week night. Ah well, sleep when I'm dead right?

When I talk to other parents about feeling tired they feel the same. It's nice to talk to people who know how it feels. I think when kids become teenagers they start to sleep in ;-)


I'd love to hear what you have leaned from being a parent!


I'd love to connect with you on Twitter or on Facebook.




4 comments:

  1. Great post. I love that your mum has completely fallen in love with her grandson. You are so lucky to have such a great mum. Your points all ring very true! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tanita, Yes I feel blessed to have a mom like mine :-)
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. Lovely post and what a gorgeous photo too. I love it when sunlight sneaks into images to give them a little glow. Thanks so much for linking with #DevelopingLife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Debs, thanks for stopping by.
      See you at the next link up!

      Delete

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